Well, here it is 2:30 AM and I just woke up. It is better than last night when I didn't get to sleep before 3AM. Tonight I went to bed before 9PM and slept till now. Yesterday, I wrote
one article about a subject that grieved my heart so bad that the day It happened I almost had to turn around and go home after making some much needed copies of some important documents.
But that would have meant that I would not get the self care Item that I so desperately needed from Walmart. And that I would have to battle the pain another day and go to all the trouble of dressing for the outside world and taking the bus back to Walmart another day this week. And I figured that I better do it while I am already out and over half way there to Walmart.
But that article took me about 2 hours to write and I was in so much pain with my neck and my back that I pounded the mouse against the mouse pad a couple of times before finally tossing it down and taking an hour break.
I try so hard to be productive for a few reasons. First I want to fulfill the will of God for my life which is to run in politics. Second, I want to repay a student loan that the doctors asked the student loan company to forgive way back in 2000. They finally forgave it after the doctors asked them to forgive once again in 2010 due to the extreme oppression that the student loan Department of Education was causing me.
I received fifty copies of the bill in my mailbox within two days way back in 2001. And similar things have happened all along. Like occasional reminders of how much interest I was being charged. Harassing phone calls. And even after the loan was finally forgiven in 2010 ten years after the original doctor had asked them to forgive it, they still sent me copies of the amount of interest and the amount of the bill stating "this is not a bill"
I guess they figure that you can just get back up and do it again after being run over by the car in 1978, almost killed in the motorcycle wreck in 1987, loss of home in 1994 resulting in almost 2 yrs of homelessness and depression, loss of possessions 1994, loss of children in 1994 two (2) of which have not been seen since 1999 and another one recovering from a stroke and brain surgery in 2006 that lead to about 2 years of grammar seizures and the other one held in captivity by incarceration for over 4 years in the same state (MS.) where the youngest two children were last seen, a few car accidents, and a few bodily injuries, then my immune system failed in 2001 (and has never recovered to this day) after a five day hospital stay due to Cat Scratch Fever, then loss of home again in 2005 that lead to another over 2 years of homelessness. A bad fall on the ice in 2009, and 3 bad bike wrecks in 2011. Wipe the tears from your face that you have been shedding since 1994 because you miss your kids so bad. Pull your self up by your boot straps and take your broken to pieces body and go slave for them.
I think some of you will agree with me that God doesn't like people to push around the weak, the fatherless or the needy.
The sad part is, recently I tried to see if I could do some counseling with my education so that I could afford to pay my rent that they recently increased. Because it was earlier this year that they decreased my income. And all summer long I had go without simple things that people need to live everyday.
But after trying to find a way that I could have my own counseling practice and take clients at my own pace I realized I didn't have the initial money needed to achieve that. Nor was I physically able to even do that. My health is just not there. And so I am back to the drawing board of working on my health. And taking a few free classes here and there between therapy.
If I publish an article it is only to say something that has to be said for an avenue of stress relief for me as was the case two days ago on the article titled "
Anything Less Is Grievous To The Heart Of God" or it is something that the people need to hear.
Incidentally, this article took me less than two hours to write but I was in extreme pain in my neck (because of the bulged disks in my neck) , and in my lower back (where the nerve root tumor is between L1 and L2 lower back) But I already took the pain medicine before I got out of bed.
That is a whole other subject. The muscle relaxers totally shut down my internal organs making even colon cleansers, laxatives and stool softeners of no use. And the prescription pain medicine makes a life time history of constipation a hundred times worse. So I have to find alternate ways to get rid of the pain which recent studies have proven to be the cause of heart disease.
