My Childhood

At Eighteen Months of Age and a terribly painful Hernia (from the appearance of the bite mark that permanently tainted my mothers gorgeous Native American Indian beautiful, olive colored skin on her fore arm) and my mother’s recent divorce from my father during the same time period.

I had a real insecurity problem from a very early age. As I remember my step father scorning me to pieces (it certainly felt that way to me) at age 3 in the door way of his Main Entry Door where he, my mother & all three of her little girls lived until we moved to Missouri and she gave birth to the only child that they had together in our “mixed” family (a term that I learned from College Sociology referring to divorced parents with children who remarry other divorced parents with children.)

My step dad had two older children who moved out just before we moved in. His words to me that left me a rejected, social mess for decades later were only “You let go of your mother’s skirt and don’t touch her again!” Those were the only words that wrecked my life for years later. After that, all I felt when I went near my mother was “Where is he, is it safe for me to go near to my mother?”

The rest of my life every time that I would go near her with him in the room the air was literally so thick you could cut it with a butter knife!!! That went on for my entire life until I moved out but it still happened every time I returned home for a visit.

My Step Dad was the ONLY dad I ever knew until I met my real father just one time when I was twelve years old and he was on his death bed. He never recovered. I grew to love my step dad as "Daddy" and I only called him "Daddy" as that was how he was introduced to me at 3 years of age and he was my daddy. He was a great father even though he had no idea the effects that that one sentence would have on that little black haired, steel blue eyed girl.

Years later, after his heart attack and bi passes, I was still working on the side for my parents though I was married. They couldn't pay much but we needed the money and I couldn't bare to see my father do any labor at all after his heart surgery. It literally broke my heart to see him cough or struggle with his health. He loved my mother to pieces! And she had serious health struggles too, but it didn't quite effect me the same way as it did when I would see my dad like that.

At age five, I was electrocuted almost to death in the basement. After that my mom felt so sorry for me because I had a hard time learning to write cursive and a hard time learning to tie my shoes. So her and my oldest sister must have thought that I had brain damage because my oldest sister and her friends often mocked me and called me retarded my whole life.

Years later, I raised my own four children and cared for hundreds of others and then I realized I didn't have any more trouble writing cursive or tying my shoes anymore than all the other children that I had helped to do those same menial tasks that could be a bit challenging at the beginning for nearly every child. Maybe it was because my mother had a newborn in the house on top of five other children from ages 4 through 18 and a fairly new husband. And she certainly had a new lifestyle that came along with their marriage. They were always quite the socialites!

Maybe I was a little slow learning but it must not have effected me too bad because I am the most educated person in our entire family.

I also became a lic. insurance agent for one of the all time toughest states to get an insurance license in at a time in 1999 when they were just making the test even harder because of Florida being the number one state where senior citizens retired to. And I’m also the first and only one of all my siblings who have a webpage up and running (but now I have dozens because I am also an Internet Marketer.)

I am also the only published author of my family.

My college grades from all of my pre medical classes including Micro Biology, Anatomy & Physiology 1 & 2, Nutrition, and a few others I made all As and Bs with the exception of one C in A&P2. But I only made those high scores in all of my Pre Med classes, Art History, and Voice.

And in early 2009 I took several courses on Tax Lien Investing and now that is my favorite hobby. I will be earning 18 percent interest with my cost being ONLY that of the tax lien that I purchase. No other fees from the county or from the auction company. And I will get 100 percent return plus the 18 percent interest or I will become the owner of the property of which taxes I paid. I have purchased in at least 3 different states and in at least 10 different counties since 2009.

Not that my other siblings are not great because they are. My mothers only son and the first born was a Vietnam Veteran and father of two, My oldest sister is the mother of two boys and had a career in the medical field for years.

One of my baby sisters who is also my only full blooded relative who is a very successful and gorgeous business women and mother of two boys. And my itsy bitsy sister born by both my mother and step father is a very successful socialite and mother of a young handsome fellow and she has friends all over America.

My two oldest siblings born by my step father are both highly educated too. My oldest brother is a successful husband and has his own housing market going on where he remodels, repairs and resales houses in Washington State. And my eldest sister is one of the first Christians of our family, has a lovely family of two boys, a daughter in law, a grandson and a husband that she has been married to for over 35 years!

Today, while on the phone to a Time Warner employee named “Wilbur” (names changed to protect his identidy) I was inviting him to visit Pastor Rick Warren’s Church at Saddleback or to visit Pastor Sergio’s Church called Cornerstone over in San Diego and it got me to thinking of how long I have been evangelizing for Jesus (about 22 years of which the past 11 had some international ministry thanks to the telephone and internet) and how I bet I looked absolutely crazy when I first fell in love with Jesus because I started imitating HIM as much as I could. And when I would read about something in the bible then I knew that was the way that I was supposed to live.

When I saw in 1 John 3:17 that if we had something someone else needed that we were to give it to them it made it easy for me to pick up hitch hikers and take them to church. I’m sure everyone thought I was nuts. But, I’m not nuts and I never have been! I simply was MADLY in love with Jesus after I found that there was a man on earth who would not reject me as I was accustomed but would actually love me, never leave me, never hurt me, and be there for me regardless of when I needed HIM then I just went off the charts in love with HIM! Mother Nell made me stop picking up Hitchhikers in the late 90's. Thank God I never got hurt, but I was VERY sensitive to the Holy Spirit. One time HE did warn me and we left that man walking on the interstate. I wouldn't allow him to get in that '67 Root Beer Colored Barracuda with Antique car tags on it with me and my babies!

I am still the outcast of my family in some ways. Maybe that was their way of protecting me from the mental abuse of the static between me, my mom and my dad. And maybe it was God’s way of helping me not to be dependent on my mother. As it was, I worshiped the ground she walked on her every living breath anyway. I barely survived the loss of her as it was because it had such a tremendous emotional effect on me and it happened in one of the darkest times of my life anyway.

Less then a year earlier I had lost my five bedroom home and my four children and I were still separated which had left me in a deep pit of depression and had just got accepted into college. Nothing was able to pull me out of the sorrows of loss of children as it felt to me. And when she died it was one of loneliest times of my life. My new found love at that time did take the edge off of it though. All of my parents have been gone for over decades now including both my step and real dad.

So looking back now, I really feel that if my step dad had not have got me away from her that I would never have grown up to be as very independent as I have been my whole life. She was like the glue that held my life together. She was the greatest mother anyone could have ever had. She was absolutely stunningly beautiful inside and out! And I’m so glad that I learned to have a big heart from her! She used to always tell me that my heart was as big as Texas!

Abraham Lincoln Character is like a tree and a reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. Mark Twain Get the facts first. You can distort them later. Abraham Lincoln I am for those means which will give the greatest good to the greatest number. Theodore Roosevelt I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. Winston Churchill It's not good enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. Thomas Edison Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Epictetus The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. Albert Einstein The important thing is not to stop questioning.', Peter F. Drucker The most serious mistakes are not being made as a result of wrong answers. The truly dangerous thing is asking the wrong question. Socrates The nearest way to glory is to strive to be what you wish to be thought to be. Theodore Roosevelt The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. Winston Churchill The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.